Brian & Ann's European Experience

Friday, June 03, 2005

I'm So Bad

It’s come to this. I’m back to playing poker online.

About two years ago I tried out an online poker site for about a week or so. Lost almost two hundred dollars before I realized how stupid I was being. Nothing has changed in terms of the security of online poker, but my gambling opportunities are so diminished in this poker-barren land that I have resorted to extreme measures.

The most annoying thing about signing up for Party is the fact that two of my credit cards got put on security holds while I was trying to get my first deposit in so I could get started.

This is tantamount to taking your kid to Toys R Us, letting him pick out the most expensive toy, waiting in line at the checkout, and then having the cashier tell you that while she’d LIKE to take your money, apparently buying toys with credit cards is now illegal.

Apparently there are some laws or some such nonsense about gambling online. It’s not allowed for Americans because there are some stupid “laws” or some such against gambling in certain states (not mine, mind you). What a stupid idea. I’m going to stop people from using the Internet to get their entertainment fix.

Next thing you know they’re going to try and stop me from downloading all those TV episodes and movies with BitTorrent.

(Note to RIAA and MPAA: come and get me bitches.)

Well. I finally figgered a way to get some money on my account. I went to PartyPoker, got onto a Hold ‘Em table with some other degenerate losers, and started very quickly whittling down that initial deposit. I mean, it’s not my fault or anything, it’s just really hard to think of it as real money you’re losing when the graphics are so pretty.

I got all the way down to being all in on a hand before I finally slapped myself a few times and physically wrote down on a paper in front of me: PLAY ONLY DECENT HANDS STUPID.

It took an hour and a half but I eventually got all the way back to even and then a little profit. I’m still playing as I write this, and periodically just hitting the ‘fold’ button unless I have pocket kings or Ace/King suited.

I’ll go to bed soon, it being 2am and all. And oh, the dreams I will have.



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